It’s time to talk about returning to work

One project professional learnt the hard way about coming back to the office after maternity leave. Unfortunately, her concerns are common to many parents, so how can we do better?

Returning to work after a year on maternity leave was hard, and unfortunately my disappointing experience has been echoed by many I’ve since spoken to. Before taking leave, I led a busy programme, managing a large team to deliver digital projects. However, my new role was a demotion that I had knowingly taken to enable me to ease back into work in a role that was familiar so I could better balance my commitments at home.

My first weeks back were tough. It was hard enough to leave my barely one‑year‑old at nursery when all they’d ever known was me: hugging, laughing, playing and watching them grow. But I was treated with such hostility that I cried every day. What should have been a gentle easing‑in period turned into my worst nightmare. On my first day back, I was asked to recommend a new governance structure by the end of that day to a senior leader. I was undermined by team members, which broke what little confidence I had. I was kept out of key conversations because my working pattern meant that I needed to leave at a set time, so meetings were arranged purposely after I had left.

When I announced I was leaving for a new job after two months in the role – having created structure and new processes – no one in the team cared. It was heart‑breaking and that’s when I knew that something needed to change so that other people should not experience the same as I did. It was the positive experiences that lifted me out of this awful situation and enabled me to return to my former confident self.

These included my fantastic support network. My project delivery colleagues rallied around me to offer their support, by listening and helping me to get up to speed, and championed me. A colleague reminded me that my past self would not have let these negative experiences get the better of me. This conversation gave me the power to take back control of the situation.

I also sought opportunities at work that would best utilise my skills and experience. I now head up a new programme management office. While the role can be demanding, I still have a good work‑life balance. I am being valued for my contributions, which has increased my confidence. I am lucky to now be in a team that is diverse and inclusive. Having a team that includes others with caring responsibilities has given me flexibility in responding to needs at home and at work. Colleagues are understanding and respectful, which has created a positive and welcoming environment that I really enjoy working in.

During my first few weeks, I contacted a helpline to talk about mental health and wellbeing, which I found extremely helpful. Having someone listen to me, placing no judgement on me or my situation, helped me to accept and face the situation I was in. I realised this was a problem many people encounter, yet choose not to speak about.

What I didn’t need was to be questioned about my work‑life balance choices. Having to leave at a certain time to pick my child up from nursery should not have to be justified. I also didn’t need to be undermined at work. My more than 10 years’ experience in project delivery appeared to have been judged by the few weeks I was in a fast‑paced, demanding role having returned to work after a year out. I was in a toxic environment where bad behaviour was unchallenged, and speaking up caused more harm. Hearing from other new parents, my experience certainly isn’t isolated. I hope the tips I share (see boxes) will be helpful to those going through something similar, and to managers and team leaders.

Tips for individuals returning to work

1. Speak to your manager or team leader about the expectations of your return to work. Do you need support to get up to speed? Can you work flexibly if you need to?
2. Create a support network. It is an excellent way to create a sounding forum, feel valued, build confidence and keep up to date.
3. Use your strengths. Working in a role that plays to your strengths will help you ease back into work quickly and builds confidence.
4. Know that you are not alone. There are so many people that have gone through this journey and will be able to support you. A helpline or a network are both incredible resources designed to help you.

Tips for managers and team leaders

1. Create a supportive and encouraging environment. An absence from work, no matter how long, affects people in different ways. Some may need weeks, and others months, to get up to speed.
2. Use empathy especially when discussing work patterns or flexible working. No one comes to work to do a bad job – we’re all trying.
3. Create diverse and inclusive teams so that those with caring responsibilities are not being singled out. A good mix creates a positive working environment where everyone feels valued and can be themselves.
4. Encourage support networks, groups and buddies – signposting to teams as and when needed.

THIS ARTICLE IS BROUGHT TO YOU FROM THE WINTER 2022 ISSUE OF PROJECT JOURNAL, WHICH IS FREE FOR APM MEMBERS.